Prologue

If you were lucky, as a child you got to read C.S. Lewis’, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe- a story about 4 siblings who enter a magical world under the spell of an evil queen. If you were even luckier you saw the original mini-series on PBS during Thanksgiving break when they ran during their pledge drives, but I digress. Though some people argue that C.S. Lewis wrote this story as a biblical allegory, I disagree. The events make me believe either Mr. Lewis may have had some bad luck in the dating world or , on a more sinister level, was laying the foundation for the dating world we now inhabit.

Just look at the parallels:

Narnia, the setting of the story, is the landscape of today’s modern dating scene. It’s always winter in Narnia- and on the dating app of your choice. At least winter is punctuated by celebratory days, specifically Christmas. But Christmas does not happen in Narnia or in dating. Also, both places are cold and full of shady characters. The children in the book experience so many of the dating pitfalls it’s a wonder this book was not in the self help section right after Steve Harvey’s Date Like a Man

As an example, Edmund, the third child, was fooled into believing the villainous which was good with some sweet treats. But, as I can attest, that sweetness is all too quickly  replaced with cold water and old gruel.  And look at poor Lucy, foiled by a seemingly innocent faun who in reality was using her to save himself.  Another common trait found in dating ‘matches.’ The  events in C.S. Lewis’ story are not a fantasy at all, in fact sadly they mimic most of my dating experiences.  Had I known at the time what I know now- that this story  was a cautionary tale… well I may have been more cautious. But alas, I was not and so what follows are some dating doozies.

The bad dating stories that follow are in no particular order and are true to the best of my recollection.