Kiki looks into time

Time is a social construct this is evidenced by the fact that Greek people, like me, can never really be on time to anything- including dates. However, I try my best, am only a few minutes late, and always tell my date if I do happen to be running behind. In Narnia time also seems to stop. When Lucy entered Narnia hours passed before she went back through the wardrobe. In the real world no more than five minutes had passed. The same happened when all four children went to Narnia: although they felt that they spent days there, it was only a few hours that had passed when they re-entered their world. This time holding still seems to happen to some of my dates as well- sadly, it’s never ones that turn out okay rather I am just waiting to end up disappointed or disturbed.

A while ago, I went on a date with Walter, whom I matched with and who was pretty inconsistent in the texting or would try and make a plan, but never actually follow through on the day of said plan (now is not the time to ask why I then agree to make a follow up date.) When we had finally chosen another day that worked for both of us there were still very vague details about time – after some football game he said, and location – I’ ll come to you he insisted. When said day came and no details were forthcoming early on he was shocked to find I would need some time to get ready, because he was: “twenty minutes away from you.” His exact words when he found out I was not prepped were, “you haven’t been waiting for me on the edge of your seat this whole time?” (Again, now is not the time to question my judgement.) Once we settled on a time I got ready and headed out the door. I drove myself there and then, although he was only “twenty minutes away” I arrived before him and began to wait. Then he texted me to tell me he was running about 10 minutes late although 10 minutes had already passed from the original start time. Then he called a few minutes later to tell me he would actually be later, that was followed by another phone call where he said he had to stop somewhere. So although he was originally only minutes away he turned up 45 minutes late.

We sat down and the waitress brought us our menus. When she came to take our orders, I was the only one who actually ordered anything. He didn’t even get a drink. He did take the liberty of questioning the waitress about the menu though like how many calories were in the food I had just ordered or what were the ingredients and also why she didn’t know how many calories were in the food. Then he made her go back and ask the cook how many calories were in the food; he kept insisting on knowing the nutrition information for my food. I on the other hand was mortified he was being so abrupt about something he wasn’t even ordering. When my food came, I did offer him some and he promptly ate more than half of it. I guess he really did need that information after all. When the bill came it couldn’t have totaled more than $10. He reached for the bill to pay I made the polite gesture of asking if he wanted to split it (my fault again) and he said yes. I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting that after the earlier shenanigans it should’ve been a given. However, when I took out my credit card to pay since I didn’t have cash he started mocking me for not having cash and wondering why I was going to pay three dollars on my credit card as if, again, it were his credit card or he would get charged a minimum use fine. I became so infuriated I just said I’m gonna pay this whole bill and you can leave the tip- which he did in the form of one dollar. So I waited an hour for a man to eat my food, have me pay for it, and harass the waitress in the process. A couple of days later he texted to ask when our next date was: I wonder if he still waiting for my response.

This was not the last time a man would be late for a date. Fast forward to earlier this year I went on a date with a man I matched with named Conner. He was prompt in all his responses and seemed very genuine in his interest asking me about my day and so on I was not suspicious of what was to come. We picked a time that worked for both of us, but on the day of he kept pushing the time back even after I asked if we should just reschedule to accommodate what was coming up. He insisted he would make it and only be a few minutes late. He proceeded to be an hour late. This hour of his absences was actually the best part of the date.

When he got there, he ordered himself a beer and a shot to start with, and then proceeded to tell me what a great guy he was, how nice he was, how he gave everybody a chance, how he was so loving. Conner just went on and on most of the date talking about himself except when he asked me about myself and then cut me off to tell me more about himself. He started making sexual references right when that shot kicked in. I felt bad for the waiter who had to listen and didn’t know whether to laugh (his job depends on tips) or not; he kept giving me pity looks- a small comfort really. As the date wore on, Conner ordered himself another beer and kept drinking and talking about himself. Then he started asking if I wanted to go back to his place and that he lives nearby and am I sure I do not want to go back to his place. I was very insistent on not going. When he realized it was not going anywhere he excused himself to pay the tab. As he is walking back he stops to talk to a waitress. I become distracted by some drunk who stumbled over to the table to talk to me. I told him I was on a date and he left. When I look back to see where my date had been standing with the waitress neither of them are anywhere in sight. He and the waitress have disappeared.

I waited some time and my date did not return. At that point I figured he paid the bill, it was his credit card he gave anyway to open the tab so I left. When I got to my car I got a text message from Conner insisting that I should have come home with him as we would’ve had a great time: followed by a d#ck pic. It’s 2022 who still sends d#ck pics?