Kiki looks into trying again

Two years ago I stopped writing. Not because I met someone and had my happily ever after, quite the opposite actually. Even as I sit here and try to find the words for this on and off relationshit, I am not entirely sure I am ready to write again let alone enter the dating world. Given the last few attempts I’ve had: including actively trying not to cry because they are not Ryan, feeling like I am somehow cheating even though we haven’t spoken or seen each other in months, and one particularly eventful date where I almost fought a grown man (but for other reasons) I am not sure the dating world is ready for me to enter it either. So I think this blog may become a mix of ‘healing journey’ testimony and the dates along the way. It definitely can no longer have a Narnia theme. Narnia ended joyfully for the children and the land. I cannot currently even fathom everything working out in the end; so this may just become a stream of consciousness catharsis where I work myself back to a semblance of myself before we met.