Kiki looks into dating scrubs

Dating in LA can be a long distance relationship, depending on what part of the city each person lives in. When the kids moved from the closet in England to Narnia, although it wasn’t more than a few steps in, they ended up traveling very far from home. It is similar in LA. People can live one city over and, depending on traffic, that could be a thirty plus minute commute. When one person lives in a beach city, and the other one lives across town in a whole other beach city it can become even more complicated getting together because there is no accounting for traffic on the 405 at any time of day or night.

And although it was not a day’s journey, as Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy found out when they walked through Narnia trying to get to the stone slab, it can be a trek when trying to meet up with people all over the southland- in particular when one does not have a car. With that being said, although a car is not necessary, if one plans on dating anywhere outside of a 5 mile radius from where they live and are not willing to Uber because of the price, they should definitely set their dating preference to no more than a few miles to keep the tab and their walking shoes within a reasonable range.

I once had a man meet me at a very popular tourist destination ( the half way point between our two homes) on one of those green Birdy scooters. Mine was a 45 minute commute by car- I can not imagine what his was. To be fair, he arrived punctually- not even mentioning his mode of transportation until well into the date -which is more than can be said for others- I’m looking at you sir who casually walked us by your Porsche and pretended you didn’t know the make of your own car. But I digress.

More recently I have had a couple of people who tried to get me to come to their city or even their home, because as it turns out, they don’t drive. One of them had a car just did not feel comfortable driving in traffic; but, did not seem to have any problem with me navigating through it since he invited me to his home for date one. I wasn’t on tour so skipped that one. A short time later I matched with a man named Bob. He seemed pretty anxious to meet but when we texted through the app and then exchanged numbers he didn’t call for a few days. When he finally did he said that he was looking forward to us getting together more to the point he actually said, “I’m very excited for you to come to my city.” We hadn’t discussed location, time, or day and he knew very well I’ve spent most of my adult life in LA so it’s not as though he was going to give me a tour of somewhere I didn’t know. It confused me that he had already decided where we were going without asking. When I suggested places halfway between our two cities, he just kept moving the date back closer to his original city. At that point I knew something was up but decided to hold off on calling anything out.

On the day of I was running behind and so almost 2 hours before the date I texted and let him know that was the case. He did not respond to that, but instead tried to video chat me through other apps, and then only answered my text at an hour before said meeting time. When I was out the door, I communicated the time that I was going to get there and proceeded to drive to the location. He finally texted as I was pulling into the place to let me know that he was trying to arrange a ride and was going to be late. It was at that point that I confirmed my suspicions about why he had tried to keep the date so close to a particular city. He had no actual car. This though did not stop him from trying to date in cities 20 plus miles outside his home. He even tried to suggest I may have been to blame for his tardiness since the later time I had suggested had thrown him off, even though he had two hours to prepare for it. He went on to say he didn’t know where we were meeting so didnt want to leave until that was certain. This was new information for me since we had agreed to a place- more pointedly a place he suggested. At that juncture, I backed right up from the spot I parked in and unlike the newly crowned kings and queens of Narnia, made my way home deflated rather than elated.

Kiki looks into dating internationally

Narnia is, in some ways, a foreign land. It’s like we recognize the landscape and the creatures before us in the story but something is always askew. I know that is a faun but why is it talking and walking only on its hind legs? Dating is the same. I recognize the setting and the characters but something is always slightly off.

And lest you believe that my dating mishaps only take place nationally, l assure you my luck follows me to foreign lands as well. One relationship on my travels started successfully enough: I had a summer romance complete with my fling rushing to the airport to see me one last time before my flight took off. Later I found out he had a whole other family. And the rushing to the airport part …well it just happened to be the day his family was returning from a trip and he was picking them up shortly after I was to take off.

But on a more recent trip back to my homeland I decided to give dating internationally another chance. After matching and speaking briefly on the app with Giorgos we agreed to meet in the public square of what is considered one of the most romantic island by tourists. Giorgos met me there dressed in what can best be described as European fashion complete with knock off work boots so I thought hey this might actually go somewhere (I love a good pair of work boots.) He was even better looking in person and I was excited to once again try and date a fellow Greek.

I will pause here to say I do speak my native tongue, maybe at a 3rd grade level, but enough so people understand me. His English, on the other hand, seemed to be much more basic and as we walked we navigated this hurdle through small talk. I kept insisting that he speak Greek since I could understand it better than he seemed to understand or speak; but he was persistent in speaking English. We walked through the lined streets and ended up at a bar half way down some well known steps but which seemed more for the locals. Giorgos, in perfect Greek, was able to snag us a table with an amazing view. After that though he turned to me and continued to try and speak with the very little English he knew.

And the date went on that way. There were a lot of one or two word answers from him and silences. I would ask him questions in Greek and he answered with English phrases. I asked him if he did not understand my Greek and that is why he spoke in English but he claimed to understand what I was saying and said he just wanted to practice his English. And practice he did. It was like I was listening to a duo lingo recording. Whatever Rosetta Stone English Giorgos had practiced before meeting up with me was what we covered so some of his answers did not really line up with the conversation. After two hours of this painful lesson I did not know I signed up for- and with the alcohol not helping in the least – the bill mercifully came.

It was at this point that Giorgos decided he could use our native language. He looked at me and without blinking, in (once more) perfect Greek says: “ So do you want to cover this.” I had been fooled yet again by my own people. I don’t know if this was a racketeering situation he had with the bar or what but I was not about to be scammed. So I responded with “I’m sorry I don’t understand what you’re saying. ” I left Giorgos and the bartender to figure out the bill betwixt them.

Unlike Lucy and her siblings I did not try to return to the adventures in a foreign lands. Dating at home provided me with enough complexes I did not need to seek them elsewhere.

Kiki looks into dating outfits

When the children went into the wardrobe they felt the cold as they neared the back of the closet closest to Narnia and put on the fancy coats hanging there. When the witch was finally defeated and spring came they were able to shed the coats. They returned to their home without them hoping they would not be missed. Dating out fits may not be as easy to put together but are just as important as choosing what to wear to protect against the elements. Trying to figure out what to wear depending on day, time, and activity though can lead to some ridiculous situations.

I once went on a date with a man who wore tore up jeans and a graphic t-shirt. That, in and of itself isn’t necessarily, bad except that the t-shirt was one of those ones with a buxom women on it in a somewhat compromising position ( it should be noted that he told me he was coming right from work- I did not ask a lot of follow up questions about his job after that for my own safety.) But what could be expected from a man who ordered pickled eggs on a first date, ate them with his hands, and looked at me quizzically while continuing to wipe his hands on his pants as I offered him a napkin. However, the story below stands out not for what my date wore but what I did.

Dimitri and I decided to go on a walking date. This became more popular in the pandemic but this was just before so I guess we were setting a trend. We agreed to meet at a known work out trail by the beach- I figured athleisure wear would be acceptable. As we know I do not do work out dates- unwittingly, this was the closest I would get to it.

When I walked up to meet my date no jogger pant, basketball short, not even a tennis shoe in sight on this man. While my date donned a nice pair of shorts and a polo shirt I had on a sports bra under my workout tee and sweatshirt with leggings. In this case I was the one with the graphic tee shirt, so to speak. It was too late to turn around so there we were Beauty and the Sweaty Betty.* I, of course, questioned his outfit based on our plans and he stated that what he meant was a leisurely stroll so felt that the outfit was appropriate.

With that said we proceeded to walk 4 miles round trip. As we were on the trail I could feel people staring at this odd combo: me wearing what seemed like appropriate workout attire next to a man who looked like he would be better suited on a boat in the ocean next to us rather than this path. As we neared the three mile mark I could tell my shoes were much better suited and his feet were probably killing him in those Sperry knock offs. Despite that, he was the one insistent we keep walking. At this point I was in need of refueling with a protein bar, shake, something, anything to get us back to our point of origin.

A smoothie for me later, we were nearing the park we had met at and passed my house, but I was not about to tell Dimitri that. When we reached our meeting spot I high-fived him- it felt apt based on the fact that this date had turned into a workout- All in all I walked four and a half miles and finished at home with some sit ups to round out leg day. Dimitri did try to make follow up dates but I was not interested in a workout buddy.

*unrelated to the clothing company

Kiki looks into being stood up

In The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe there is a time when Aslan leaves the children despite their victories. He leaves quietly when no one is really looking. And will continue to come and go throughout their lives. I have been in on again off again relationships- but the on again off again dater, who has a similar philosophy, is a bit trickier because it is hard to tell when they may decide to stand you up. However, like Peter going into battle sans Aslan, one must always be ready for the unexpected.

Frances and I met while we were both out through mutual friend groups. We hit it off and exchanged numbers that night. Our first date was a success. We laughed, we ate and then we met up with our mutual friends for drinks. Things seemed to be off to a solid start.

After the first date we continued to talk and exchange texts. We planned our second date- a meal at a local restaurant in a nearby hotspot.

The night of said date I drove to the shoreline area we would be meeting. There was an unexpected event at this place so parking was a challenge. I had to circle a few times but was able to find parking. I sent Frances a text that I was on my way up to the restaurant after the parking challenges. As I am walking into the place Frances replies to me saying that he couldn’t find parking so has decided to head home. No other follow up text. Just his decision to leave me at the place.

I am not one to be stood up so marched myself right to my car and proceed to drive to his apartment (you can surmise how I know where he lives) when I arrive I do not see his car and he does not answer the door so I sit myself down on the curb to wait his arrival. Fifteen minutes later and he is walking up – I do not know how I beat him to his own home but I have a few guesses. When he sees me sitting on the curb I can tell his brain is not registering the picture in front of him, I use this moment to say: “I was promised a meal” and just stare at him. With that, he mumbles a few local places we could try and we walk ourselves to the now closed Thai place. Dinner was a solemn event that went by rather quickly. I never got an answer that made sense as to why he would drive to a place and then leave knowing someone was waiting for him. Parking was bad but one could find spots. Needless to say there was not a third date.

I have been stood up once while I was at a bar waiting for my date (not a cat fish we had met in person and gone out a couple of times.) When he was a no call no show, I venmo requested that man the price of my drink since he was the one who offered to buy me one in the first place. My bank account is still minus that drink order.