Kiki looks into break ups

People date for all kinds of reasons but generally dating really has an inevitable progression or an end. Clearly my dating adventures have only gone one way. I have had more first dates than there exist frozen creatures in Narnia. I have very rarely gone on many second or third dates. The last post was my most emotional one and the only one written in real time. Although I am still reeling from that heart ache I have decided to continue down the break up path for at least one more post; but this one is much lighter – I promise.

Despite having been dumped several times over the years, it is rare that I even get the chance to break up with someone. But when I do you know it is going to be the most ridiculous time. I was dating someone very casually (read that as you will). It wasn’t going anywhere and I was not interested in continuing it. I knew that I had to end it with Seamus and felt like I should do it in person. Coincidentally, he asked me to dinner shortly after I made that mental decision so I took him up on that offer. I would quickly come to regret attempting to carry out this break up in public.

We agreed to meet at the restaurant where we had our first date, he was already seated when I got there. I spotted him and went to join. I had no sooner sat down and opened the menu that I started crying. Not for any sentimental reason but just thinking about all that he was about to lose: I mean look at all of this I felt bad for him- I kid. He had not noticed yet so was asking me questions about food: what I was going to order, did I want a drink but at that point I was full force sobbing- almost ugly crying if you will- so couldn’t answer. Just as I looked up at him to answer the waitress appeared at our table and is taking in the situation. Seamus was just as shook as her. She didn’t really know what to do any more than he did so we asked her for more time and she walked away.

It is at this point in the evening that I unleashed on this human. But not about what I had intended. No, rather it was a list of things that seemed more like I wanted him to commit. I started telling him that he should take me out more if he liked me so much. I even found myself saying I didn’t think we wanted the same things. Where did he even see this going? I can not emphasize enough that this was a casual relationship (again, read that as you will) and my intent from the minute I walked in was to break up with him. But the words coming out were more like I wanted him to enter into a committed relationship with me. I did not. For some reason I was not able to stop the flood of words that leaned heavily towards be my boyfriend. I remember asking him if he even saw himself married or with kids. The waitress came back at the exact moment I am asking him his marriage plans and can do nothing but take our order as quickly as possible then slink away. Clearly her timing was impeccable and I am sure she was as embarrassed as him.

When she left Seamus started explaining that he was busy with work and it wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in committing, it was just a little early in dating. Obviously. He said he didn’t even realize these were things I wanted because again – casual. This is not how I saw this going at all. What followed for the remainder of the evening was a lot of awkward silences and small talk. When the food came we ate pretty quickly and the rest of the evening played out like a couple who had just had a public fight but nothing had been resolved yet.

I took myself home after dinner and then a few days later texted him a break up, blocked him, and hopefully he and the waitress have moved on and look back at this as a funny(horror) story they can tell.

Kiki looks into quiet quitters

if you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you — you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing was ever going to happen again. ~ c.s lewis 

Dating is hard- finding someone to trust and who I want to spend time with is hard; but, nothing is more difficult than finding that person, connecting, and then watching the person who once felt safe step back just as I am teetering on the edge. Someone quietly quitting is a heartbreak all it’s own. At least when someone ghosts I don’t have to watch the relationship disintegrate day by day right in front of me. With ghosting they are gone- there is no lingering there is a finality that does not come with a quiet quitter.*

After many, many a first date, the first date with Sebastian seemed like a sigh of relief like I could finally relax. Conversation was easy from the beginning and there was a lot of laughter. No catfishing, no Disney character voices, everything seemed to align. As a side note – I have found it is best when I like someone to be exactly who I am that way they know what they are in for- begin as you mean to go on is my motto. So if Sebastian really was in it as he claimed many times over it was best to be who I would be throughout so he knew. I was untrusting and we hurdled several ptsd flashbacks, but he took it all in stride. He was consistent and reliable. He kept showing up – until he didn’t.

Almost three months from our first date he began to shut me out. Not all at once but slowly. First the messages dried up, he’d text just enough so I knew he was there. Then response times went from minutes to hours. What used to be voice texts throughout the day became one voice text, if I asked. And even his tones changed. Long phone conversations that lasted hours with no one wanting to hang up suddenly felt heavy on his end like an obligation or chore- if they happened at all. The Sebastian who had courted and pursued me decided he’d had enough now that we were in a relationship. The vulnerability and emotion he’d shown was tucked neatly back in and a wall went up. Numerous attempts to ask what was going on were thwarted. And of course the more I pushed the further he stepped back.

I can’t explain to someone what they are unwilling to see. So, although I knew all the reasons he was acting this way he refused to accept it or even admit that anything had changed. Here I was spinning in pools of anxiety, the worse of me coming out in this relationship with a person who was one foot in one foot out. The tangible things to point to as issues, Sebastian insisted were just some voodoo emotional stuff on my end. All I could do was watch him step further and further back like the meme of Homer Simpson sliding into the bushes and nothing would stop the slide. Deciding whether or not to walk away from a person who once made me feel safe is no small feat. It does a number on the psyche.**

* ghosting as a term doesn’t make sense because ghosts hang around much like the quiet quitter actually but I don’t make the labels

** The quiet quitter has officially become a ghoster

Kiki looks into dating outfits

When the children went into the wardrobe they felt the cold as they neared the back of the closet closest to Narnia and put on the fancy coats hanging there. When the witch was finally defeated and spring came they were able to shed the coats. They returned to their home without them hoping they would not be missed. Dating out fits may not be as easy to put together but are just as important as choosing what to wear to protect against the elements. Trying to figure out what to wear depending on day, time, and activity though can lead to some ridiculous situations. 

I once went on a date with a man who wore tore up jeans and a graphic t-shirt. That, in and of itself isn’t necessarily, bad except that the t-shirt was one of those ones with a buxom women on it in a somewhat compromising position ( it should be noted that he told me he was coming right from work- I did not ask a lot of follow up questions about his job after that for my own safety.) But what could be expected from a man who ordered pickled eggs on a first date, ate them with his hands, and looked at me quizzically while continuing to wipe his hands on his pants as I offered him a napkin.  However, the story below stands out not for what my date wore but what I did. 

Dimitri and I decided to go on a walking date. This became more popular in the pandemic but this was just before so I guess we were setting a trend.  We agreed to meet at a known work out trail by the beach- I figured athleisure wear would be acceptable. As we know I do not do work out dates- unwittingly, this was the closest I would get to it. 

When I walked up to meet my date no jogger pant, basketball short, not even a tennis shoe in sight on this man. While my date donned a nice pair of shorts and a polo shirt I had on a sports bra under my workout tee and sweatshirt with leggings. In this case I was the one with the graphic tee shirt, so to speak. It was too late to turn around so there we were Beauty and the Sweaty Betty.* I, of course, questioned his outfit based on our plans and he stated that what he meant was a leisurely stroll so felt that the outfit was appropriate.

With that said we proceeded to walk 4 miles round trip. As we were on the trail I could feel people staring  at this odd combo: me wearing what seemed like appropriate workout attire next to a man who looked like he would be better suited on a boat in the ocean next to us rather than this path.  As we neared the three mile mark I could tell my shoes were much better suited and his feet were probably killing him in those Sperry knock offs. Despite that, he was the one insistent we keep walking.  At this point I was in need of refueling with a protein bar, shake, something, anything to get us back to our point of origin.  

A smoothie for me later, we were nearing the park we had met at and passed my house, but I was not about to tell Dimitri that. When we reached our meeting spot I high-fived him- it felt apt based on the fact that this date had turned into a workout- All in all I walked four and a half miles and finished at home with some sit ups to round out leg day. Dimitri did try to make follow up dates but I was not interested in a workout buddy.

*unrelated to the clothing company

Kiki looks into the positive side of dating

Dating is a winter wasteland, because even on the best of days things rarely work out. Although I always talk about the terrible dates, even the most pleasant dates rarely move forward. Because, like the deep magic of Narnia, things always seem to work out for the witch rather than the sons of Adam  and daughters of Eve.  

I once matched with a lovely human named Kent. He was always so positive on the phone and in messages. Not in a fake way or a way that was annoying as some cheerily people tend to be but in an endearing way.  Like Aslan,who always kept calm in the worst of situations, so Kent kept cheerful.

Our date was at LA Live on a Friday night. This was no small feat especially without a reservation. But despite the long waits and crowds he was so positive and calming. Nothing fazed him.  We walked around as we waited for the beeping of our restaurant tracker and he was just amazed by everything. Like Alec Baldwin’s character in ‘Friends,’ he complimented the most arbitrary of things. “Just look at all these brake lights glowing like the light of a thousand ferries. *” And on and on just over the top enthusiasm about the crowds, the restaurants, all the mundane things we passed were somehow fascinating to him. Although Baldwin’s character was grating after a while, Kent was less so and I think it was because it just seemed so natural for him to be amazed by everything. Our conversation was just as fascinating to him. He spoke in glowing terms about life, his job, and anytime I had something to say it was a two minute praise session about what I had said. It was like having my own hype person. Despite what could have been a  miserable experience it was refreshing to watch someone be so open and energized. I don’t know if that says something about me or dating in general. 

In the end we had a wonderful time and his upbeat attitude only added to that. Even though there was no spark it was nice to go on a date  that was successful overall and did not end in a more positive Uber ride than the date itself. However, because of the type of blog this is – we know this story does not end with me in a partnership. The next day I received the kindest ‘this isn’t going anywhere, let’s not see each other again’ text I have ever read. And have yet to get anything nicer since.  

*The One in Massapequa

Kiki looks into being stood up

In The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe there is a time when Aslan leaves the children despite their victories. He leaves quietly when no one is really looking. And will continue to come and go throughout  their lives. I have been in on again off again relationships- but the on again off again dater, who has a similar philosophy, is a bit trickier because it is hard to tell when they may decide to stand you up. However, like Peter going into battle sans Aslan, one must always be ready for the unexpected. 

Frances and I met while we were both out through mutual friend groups. We hit it off and exchanged numbers that night. Our first date was a success. We laughed, we ate and then we met up with our mutual friends for drinks. Things seemed to be off to a solid start. 

After the first date we continued to talk and exchange texts. We planned our second date- a meal at a  local restaurant in a nearby hotspot. 

 The night of said date I drove to the shoreline area we would be meeting. There was an unexpected event at this place so parking was a challenge. I had to circle a few times but was able to find parking. I sent Frances a text that I was on my way up  to the restaurant after the parking challenges. As I am walking into the place Frances replies to me saying that he couldn’t find parking so has decided to head home.  No other follow up text. Just his decision to leave me at the place. 

I am not one to be stood up so marched myself right to my car and proceed to drive to his apartment (you can surmise how I know where he lives) when I arrive I do not see his car and he does not answer the door so I sit myself down on the curb to wait his arrival. Fifteen minutes later and he is walking up – I do not know how I beat him to his own home but I have a few guesses.  When he sees me sitting on the curb I can tell his brain is not registering the picture in front of him, I use this moment to say: “I was promised a meal” and just stare at him. With that, he mumbles a few local places we could try and we walk ourselves to the now closed Thai place. Dinner was a solemn event that went by rather quickly. I never got an answer that made sense as to why he would drive to a place and then leave knowing someone was waiting for him. Parking was bad but one could find spots. Needless to say there was not a third date. 

I have been stood up once while I was at a bar waiting for my date (not a cat fish we had met in person and gone out a couple of times.) When he was a no call no show,  I venmo requested that man the price of my drink since he was the one who offered to buy me one in the first place. My bank account is still minus that drink order. 

Kiki looks into catfishing

Cat fishing is defined as a deceptive activity in which a person creates a fictional persona or fake identity on a social networking service for the purpose of fraud. Be on dating apps long enough and one will experience at least one catfish. Technically, Lucy was also cat fished by Mr Tumnus the faun. His plan was actually to kidnap her and take her to the queen but later changed his mind. Much like these dates. 

The first time I was catfished my date never showed up. Prior to the date he communicated through text and the app. The day of the date as I was driving to meet him he blocked me on the phone and then by the time I walked up to the restaurant he had deleted me from the app. As I circled around the place there were only groups seated. Not a solo person to be found. Inquiries to staff lead nowhere they had not seen a singleton at the place in hours. As I walked back to my car I was panicking- this man knew what I looked but I had no idea of his appearance.  I watch a lot of Criminal Minds so my pepper spray was at the ready. However, one time when a catfish did show up there was  awkwardness a plenty. 

I matched with Kacey who seemed normal in his photos and bio. After riveting conversation he planned a great date at a fancy restaurant. A man picking a place, time, day,  and making a reservation for a date is not the usual so I probably should have known something was up. When I showed up  it all became very clear.  The man who was seated at the table  was definitely not the man in the photos. Not in the completely separate person way, but rather the photos were clearly from his glory days in college. Kacey’s hairline had definitely moved back and his face had aged not as gracefully as he probably would have liked.  He clearly knew what he was doing was wrong and seemed to want to make up for it through planning. Like the queen he felt he had to lavish gifts to hide his duplicity. In this case  it was through order after order of food even after I only wanted one dish he asked for several items. Conversation was halting unlike on the phone because at that point the sham was up. It’s like he just kept ordering food to lengthen the date. It was a painful couple of hours. 

I was able to finally get my Uber but Kacey insisted on waiting with me, unlike some prior dates. After what can best be described as an air side hug  I jumped into the Uber and the driver said, “Ooph that was awkward, huh?”  I asked him if it was that noticeable- he answered: “ Even Stevie Wonder could see that this was a bad date.”  We drove home exchanging dating horror stories and laughing. 

Kiki looks into humor

Everyone has an origin story, and before I knew that the dating world was a Narnian winter wasteland with witches, betrayal, and a lot of ice I had my very first tinder match a long, long time ago.  I matched with a man we will call Joe. Because I was so new, we texted quite a bit on the app before exchanging numbers. He seemed to be very funny in text- that’s what got me. Then after a while, I gave him my number and the humor continued across the phone.  It wasn’t until after we met that I realized he wasn’t funny at all, he was just not very bright. What I had interpreted as humor in text was just him having a conversation. It was almost the Key and Peele skit about the text conversation.*

At the time I knew none of this though and believed I was going on a date with a human who had a good sense of humor. After numerous exchanges we made plans to meet at a bar. When I got there, he looked exactly like his photos (at the time I didnt know about catfishing more on that in the future) and the date seemed to be going well except unlike his text, he was not chatty.. at all. I carried most of the conversation. I started wondering if I had been Cyrano’d  through text. But the exact moment I realized that his humor was, in fact, him being serious, was the following exchange:  We had been discussing his job and somehow Chelsea Handler came up – I can not remember the details now- I love her so I said to him: “I love her standup. She is so funny. ” And he replies deadpan: “No she doesn’t stand up. She sits behind that desk.” At first I thought- ohh finally there you are Joe, there is that jokester. I paused and looked at him and he looked at me with no trace of sarcasm. So I said again: “Yes, on her show but I also love her stand up. And he kept looking at me, confusion just deepening. He responds again “ No, she is the one that sits behind the desk. Maybe we are talking about two different people. She is the one that sits behind the desk and says the news and the jokes. She doesn’t stand up.” We went back and forth a couple of times I laughingly, but he was not breaking and left little room to argue and at that point I realized I had met a very literal person.

I figured at that point it could not get any worse so chose to move on. He had his hands on the bar and I noticed that there was a scar on one so I asked him where he got that from and he answered, “oh my wife and I got into a fight a long time ago.”  I said “oh that is bad.  Do you mean your ex-wife?” He responds with: “Well we’re separated, not divorced though.” At that point, I realized I had not asked enough questions about whether or not he was single. I had just assumed it because he was on a dating app so I proceeded to ask him questions:  I said: “Oh, so you are getting a divorce? He answered in the affirmative, but added that they still lived in the same home. My reply: “ That must be difficult – so you live in different rooms?” (I felt the need to ask obvious questions based on the above interactions.)  He said “No we’re in the same room.” Excuse me, sir ?  He ended with “Yes, we share the bed. I have one side and she has the other.”  At that point it was time to make my exit and I was grateful I had only ordered soda water.

  Sir, you are not single, you are not separated, you are still in a whole ass marriage. I was single on a dating app and his stupid self was both married and dating.  Why I continued to try and find love on the internet after that first encounter is a mystery.  

* Key and Peele

Kiki looks into time

Time is a social construct this is evidenced by the fact that Greek people, like me, can never really be on time to anything- including dates. However, I try my best, am only a few minutes late, and always tell my date if I do happen to be running behind. In Narnia time also seems to stop. When Lucy entered Narnia hours passed before she went back through the wardrobe. In the real world no more than five minutes had passed. The same happened when all four children went to Narnia: although they felt that they spent days there, it was only a few hours that had passed when they re-entered their world. This time holding still seems to happen to some of my dates as well- sadly, it’s never ones that turn out okay rather I am just waiting to end up disappointed or disturbed.

A while ago, I went on a date with Walter, whom I matched with and who was pretty inconsistent in the texting or would try and make a plan, but never actually follow through on the day of said plan (now is not the time to ask why I then agree to make a follow up date.) When we had finally chosen another day that worked for both of us there were still very vague details about time – after some football game he said, and location – I’ ll come to you he insisted. When said day came and no details were forthcoming early on he was shocked to find I would need some time to get ready, because he was: “twenty minutes away from you.” His exact words when he found out I was not prepped were, “you haven’t been waiting for me on the edge of your seat this whole time?” (Again, now is not the time to question my judgement.) Once we settled on a time I got ready and headed out the door. I drove myself there and then, although he was only “twenty minutes away” I arrived before him and began to wait. Then he texted me to tell me he was running about 10 minutes late although 10 minutes had already passed from the original start time. Then he called a few minutes later to tell me he would actually be later, that was followed by another phone call where he said he had to stop somewhere. So although he was originally only minutes away he turned up 45 minutes late.

We sat down and the waitress brought us our menus. When she came to take our orders, I was the only one who actually ordered anything. He didn’t even get a drink. He did take the liberty of questioning the waitress about the menu though like how many calories were in the food I had just ordered or what were the ingredients and also why she didn’t know how many calories were in the food. Then he made her go back and ask the cook how many calories were in the food; he kept insisting on knowing the nutrition information for my food. I on the other hand was mortified he was being so abrupt about something he wasn’t even ordering. When my food came, I did offer him some and he promptly ate more than half of it. I guess he really did need that information after all. When the bill came it couldn’t have totaled more than $10. He reached for the bill to pay I made the polite gesture of asking if he wanted to split it (my fault again) and he said yes. I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting that after the earlier shenanigans it should’ve been a given. However, when I took out my credit card to pay since I didn’t have cash he started mocking me for not having cash and wondering why I was going to pay three dollars on my credit card as if, again, it were his credit card or he would get charged a minimum use fine. I became so infuriated I just said I’m gonna pay this whole bill and you can leave the tip- which he did in the form of one dollar. So I waited an hour for a man to eat my food, have me pay for it, and harass the waitress in the process. A couple of days later he texted to ask when our next date was: I wonder if he still waiting for my response.

This was not the last time a man would be late for a date. Fast forward to earlier this year I went on a date with a man I matched with named Conner. He was prompt in all his responses and seemed very genuine in his interest asking me about my day and so on I was not suspicious of what was to come. We picked a time that worked for both of us, but on the day of he kept pushing the time back even after I asked if we should just reschedule to accommodate what was coming up. He insisted he would make it and only be a few minutes late. He proceeded to be an hour late. This hour of his absences was actually the best part of the date.

When he got there, he ordered himself a beer and a shot to start with, and then proceeded to tell me what a great guy he was, how nice he was, how he gave everybody a chance, how he was so loving. Conner just went on and on most of the date talking about himself except when he asked me about myself and then cut me off to tell me more about himself. He started making sexual references right when that shot kicked in. I felt bad for the waiter who had to listen and didn’t know whether to laugh (his job depends on tips) or not; he kept giving me pity looks- a small comfort really. As the date wore on, Conner ordered himself another beer and kept drinking and talking about himself. Then he started asking if I wanted to go back to his place and that he lives nearby and am I sure I do not want to go back to his place. I was very insistent on not going. When he realized it was not going anywhere he excused himself to pay the tab. As he is walking back he stops to talk to a waitress. I become distracted by some drunk who stumbled over to the table to talk to me. I told him I was on a date and he left. When I look back to see where my date had been standing with the waitress neither of them are anywhere in sight. He and the waitress have disappeared.

I waited some time and my date did not return. At that point I figured he paid the bill, it was his credit card he gave anyway to open the tab so I left. When I got to my car I got a text message from Conner insisting that I should have come home with him as we would’ve had a great time: followed by a d#ck pic. It’s 2022 who still sends d#ck pics?

Kiki looks into dating from the other side … part two

Warning: Some offensive thoughts- (not mine) 

I do not think anyone has gone on a date with me and thought wow this girl is holding it down mentally. I know how I am and it’s best to get it out early on- I am not trying to fool anyone into dating me. Simultaneously, I do come across somewhat like I have it together – Get you someone who can do both is what I say. Unlike the last date story posted, which left me reeling in the aftermath as to what happened, for this next “side of their story” post, this man made it very clear what he thought of me by the end. 

Early in the dating world of apps I was not aware of the three in app messages, exchange numbers, three phone texts, and then set up a date. So when I matched with Chad and he asked me out on the first message I thought that is how these things worked. We agreed to meet at a local place. As it turns out, the one word or sentence phrase was just how Chad was. Immediately asking someone out was not how it was done, it’s just how Chad did it because he had little to say. During the course of the date there were a lot of one word, answers, and one-sided conversations on my part. That is until we stumbled upon books we’d read. 

When I tell you that Chad had immersed himself in the book The Secret it would not be enough. It would not cover how much he had absorbed the book. Similar to how the Witch covered all of Narnia in snow and misery so Chad had covered his entire personality, mindset, and self in The Secret. At this point the man who had previously been giving one word answers was speaking at length about the concepts of the book. I learned his life story as it related to the book. I learned about his dating history as it related to  the book, I learned about… you get the picture. At this point in the date the tables had turned and I must have seemed like the one not  having much to say. 

The positive mindset and manifesting scenarios seemed harmless until he started suggesting that homeless people could use the power of the secret to help better their situation. If only they thought more positively they would have a better chance of escaping this traume. And unfortunately that belief was not even the strangest. As shocked as Edmund was to find all the frozen creatures in the witches castle, I was even more perplexed by what I was listening to as Chad continued to speak. 

Neither the above part nor this next part do I say lightly, it’s just the context was so perplexing that for a moment I thought  I might have been on an episode of Punk’d. Chad has now moved on from his homelessness philosophy to his next beliefs about the application of the secret. He stated that people with special needs, mental illness, and physical ailments could  be “cured” as he said by living the teachings of The Secret. It is at this point in our date, that my phone, sitting on the table the whole time vibrates, and the Shazam app opens seemingly by itself. I stare at him and jokingly say I think they’re listening to us. Then shout “I know you’re there.” This man, who believes all the world’s problems are fixed through positive thinking, looks at me, and with a straight face says, “Are you crazy? I thought he was being facetious. But he adds to his comment, “who would be listening?”  He genuinely believes I may be slightly off. I was expecting a lesson from The Secret that  may be able to help me. Instead he signals to the waiter for the check and frantically moves to pay it so we can leave. Chad really thought I was losing it and rather than help me with his lessons from The Secret is in a hurry to put distance between us. So much for his humanitarian efforts.

The next day as I am driving down one of our main streets I happen to pass by Chad walking down the road with a new girl on what can best be described as an ice cream date. I had to fight back the urge to roll down the window and shout  run girl.

Kiki looks into dating from the other side

The tale of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is told from an outside perspective and one that is slanted against the witch. We will never know if there was a misunderstanding- she could have been misrepresented. The omniscient narrator could have had a beef with the queen or a general dislike for winter weather. Unless someone writes an opposite narrative like Jon Scieszka’s, The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, we won’t really ever know the whole story. Dating is similar that way, I am the narrator of my own circumstances I have my side and my date-es have there’s. I have gone home from more than a few thinking it was a win to never hear from them again and I am sure the same has happened from their perspective as well. These are unfinished stories: no beginning middle or end and that is how they will remain so. One, however, left me so bewildered I still wonder what happened.

Amir and I met the traditional late 2000 teen way on an app, chatted briefly, and set up a date near by. I Ubered to our date the night of because it was Friday and I felt like having one drink. I arrived a little early and got us a table. He was punctual and once we were settled in things were going very well. We chatted easily, had several things in common, and even though the food order was a bit delayed there was a lot of laughter on both sides. I took that as a good sign- clearly it was not. At almost nine o’clock on the dot -once the bill came and went – Amir suddenly stood up and said I am going now. No explanation, just I am going now. Was I being Cinderellad? Was I the Prince in this situation? What had I missed? Perhaps two hours was too long for a date I thought, but we were having fun, weren’t we ? I did not understand the unexpected ending. Nonetheless, he gets up to leave and I follow, at this point very confused. This is the least confused I would be, as it turns out.

I let Amir know that I have to wait for my Uber since there was no warning of an end. He stares at me and reluctantly says he can wait with me but I can tell it is very much not what he wants to do. I let him know it is fine for him to leave. At this point he gives me the most awkward of side hugs (I can quite literally feel his hip bone on my rib cage) and then proceeds to go left of where I am. A few minutes later as I remain rooted in the same spot he had just left me, waiting for my ride, he walks by me once more. Presumably he had forgotten where he parked. But, when he walks by he does not acknowledge I am there. In. The. Same. Spot. Does not do one of those awkward waves, bashful laughs oops don’t remember where I parked- nothing. Just walks right by me in silence staring straight ahead no acknowledgment that we had just shared a meal or even of my presence. Just walked right on by. I tracked him from left to right like I was watching a very slow tennis game for any sign that we just spent two hours together. None were visible.

The driver who dropped me off that night seemed more concerned with my safe return home than my date. At least the driver waited until I was in the gate before he took off with a honk to acknowledge I existed.