In the Lion and the Witch, and the Wardrobe the white witch was angry because she always felt that she was the rightful ruler of Narnia, but had to fight to earn her place. When anyone questioned her power or authority they met her wrath and were turned to stone. One of her greatest fears: the daughters of Eve taking her power away. With the rise of the podcast and people like Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan men are being instilled with a similar fear: the daughters of Eve taking “control,” stealing their money, etc etc. This fear has made men start turning women into stone figuratively and added even more mines to the already desolate landscape of dating. I am pretty good at vetting out these types even as I swipe- their profiles give off douche vibes and say things like looking for a feminine woman, no feminists, age 45 and not looking for anything serious, there is a picture of them holding a fish, or other such markers, however, every now and then one gets by because they can hide it like the witch hid her true nature from Edmund- but not for long. 

A while ago I  went on a date with a man we will call Adam,  who at first glance seemed put together: he had a good job, his own place, no fish photos in his profile, and in our quick phone conversation to set up the date he was polite and articulate. I was hopeful…but that quickly disappeared when he called me three times prior to me showing up for the date (in the span of an hour.) I knew it was going to go down hill but I was hungry and I hoped it would make a good story. Adam did not disappoint. 

When we met up the first thing I noticed was his sudden need to dominate the conversation and his lack of awareness that someone else was mid sentence before he came storming in with his thoughts. On the phone we had a back and forth and there was an equal exchange; this was not the case in person. I could be in the middle of a thought and he would just start in without letting me finish because he ‘knew better’ (his words not mine.) If I asked a question because I didn’t hear or Adam’s point was nonsensical so I disagreed he just spoke louder and slower AT me. It’s like he had faked a conversation long enough to sound non threatening; but, that quickly came to a head when he realized I had opinions and was quicker with the wit and let’s be honest, the facts than him.  He did not understand sarcasm but insisted he was very sarcastic especially when it came to certain topics. How that worked I was about to find out. 

Turns out his “sarcasm” was rooted in women’s ‘need’ to have equality he stated. A topic, he said, deserved only sarcasm. I asked what that meant because I felt we were not working with the same definition of sarcasm and that seemed to send him over the edge. He began in earnest to rant on and on about how women were responsible for men’s emotions, were to stay calm in all situations even if men were acting foolish,  and the demise of values was because women had become somehow blood thirsty (money hungry) and were trying to take men’s power away and control them. He even went as far as saying women control men’s reproductive rights. You should also know he believed this to be an American problem because in other cultures women knew ‘their role.’ I think he wanted to say “their place” but stopped just short of that. To be clear none of what he said was done so ironically he meant every word.  I wondered, as he was spewing his foolishness, how this person with so much vitriol against women was on a dating app looking to court women – clearly it wasn’t women he was trying to be with.

When questioned about actual laws that existed protecting men rather than women he was unaware of them- his words were, “I don’t know anything about that.”  When questioned about men’s behavior teaching women how to act or men creating the system and now women were using it for their advancement his brain almost locked up with this new thought and could go no further. He quickly ended the date. At least the white witch attempted to take on the daughter’s of Eve- Adam wasn’t even going to try.