Kiki looks into going on a second date… three years later

A few years ago I matched with a man who we will call George. George was a great texter. Soon we exchanged numbers and made plans to meet. The day of the date he called me to let me know he “was stocky” Do I know what that means, no. But did I know why this was a relevant preemptive phone call ? Also, no. It was too late to cancel, so I would just have to figure it out when I got there.

When I show up to this date George, like the faun to Lucy, is only a little taller than me. I am now on a date with a person who is also the size of a middle schooler. If we had children I’d have to carry them around in a Polly Pocket tiny seashell purse! As for the stocky part, it was a California winter so he had on a fake puffer jacket and I could not tell- unless stocky means short?Although the date went pretty well, it did not sit right with me that if we went to the movies we would be asked where our adult was. Both of us could not be the height of a seventh grader. And so that was the end of that. 

Fast forward a couple years and George suddenly starts coming up on the algorithm of my dating apps. After he showed up on the third app, I said fine- I will swipe right, we can match, have a good laugh, and move on. When we matched though, to my great surprise, George gave no indication that he even knew me!  I kept messaging though thinking something would ring a bell- it did not. Then he asked for my number through the app. I was sure once he put it in his phone I would come up and he would feel as foolish as Edmund for trusting the witch. Apparently it did not come up and he kept texting as though this was our first meeting.  I was a little indignant that he had not kept my number.

That is then how I ended up on a delayed second date on a Tuesday night with a man who thought this was our first date. I really believed when he saw me and we started speaking he would remember me. But when he showed up, not a shred of recognition. And I can not tell you if its is because I looked good before or now. I found myself having almost identical conversations with George. At least he was consistent with his first date banter? Oh your mom is from ….  this is brand new information*. Oh your family has governmental ties- I had no idea.* And this is how the date continued. At least one of us seemed to be enjoying the date, and the other person was me.  

It really was like he was that statue in the witches castle time stopped and he had no recollection of any thing that happened ! Needless to say, I have not scheduled a second (third) date with George and I probably will not be conducting any social experiments like that one at the expense of my ego.

*in my Phoebe Buffay voice

*in my Chandler voice